Oh, boy.

I am starting to wonder if sleep is really worth it. Don't get me wrong--I am a completely rational person who realizes how incredibly important it is to us being able to function properly and all that good jazz. The thought of going to sleep is starting to cause me some anxiety, though. I keep having terrible nightmares about things I am not ordinarily anxious about. Pre-pregnancy, I already had issues with always remembering dreams and nightmares. To use a word my father loves, pregnancy has served to simply exacerbate that.

While my nightmare last night wasn't of the worst kind, when I woke up, I had some terrible pain in my chest. It truly felt like someone was twisting a knife in me. Some positions were okay, but if I inhaled just a little too much, it caused me pain. Waking up from a nightmare in pain and needing to go to the bathroom is just not fun. I very slowly made my way out of bed, and when I climbed back in, I got on all fours to do a little yoga to try to get the pain to go away. It was the weirdest thing. It felt like a ball in my chest just kind of up and left. I felt nothing with my hands when trying to figure the source of the pain out, but it felt like there was something there at that last moment. It was completely gone after that. Kooky.

Sunday during the day was interesting as well. We went out to see X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and since we weren't too hungry right after, we decided to walk around a bit to build up our appetites. It's an incredibly busy area with thousands of people all around. It's very loud with the huge stores blasting their music to attract crowds since the competition is huge there.

This is not new to me. I love going to this area every once-in-a-while to find some good deals. It's where I got my two pairs of maternity pants. (For those who live here, I'm sure you've already guessed we were at Dongdaemun.)

I wound up having a mini panic attack as we were starting to head back to the bus stop. I just started sobbing and shaking a little and feeling like I couldn't breathe. It freaked Hee Suk out because he had no idea why this was suddenly happening to me. I can't really say I have the greatest idea either. Here's my hypothesis, though:

I am agoraphobic--fear of wide open spaces and large crowds. I've been okay with the crowds here in Korea, but it does get to me a little at times. Grocery store trips are sometimes cut a little bit short because I just want to get out of there with all of the people bumping and pushing you around and with how loud it is.

So obviously, with this trip out, there were large crowds. I've always been okay, though, right?

I think the cherry on top was how it felt when we stopped into a couple of the huge stores. The movie theater we went to was on the 9th floor of a huge new building. (It was so warm when we got in there, too. I have never, ever walked into a warm theater.) I wanted to check out the maternity wear since we were there, so we went on to the 4th floor. It's still very empty there since it is new, and they had no air moving through it whatsoever. It was also so hot to me with whatever sort of lights they had chosen to use. The overpriced items plus all of that had me wanting to get out of there quickly.

We stopped in on the first floor of another shopping complex that's almost exactly the same. First floor, doors are wide open, the seller I wanted to check out was right next to the entrance. Still no air moving through there. I flipped through the rack a little and decided it just wasn't a shopping day for me. Shortly after leaving that building is when I broke down.

My theory is the crowds plus the noise plus that feeling of not being able to really breathe in those shops had me just mentally losing it. Makes sense to me. We had to go grocery shopping that night, too, and Hee Suk said, "I don't think you can go--we'll go another time." I knew I would be okay there, though. Turns out I did end up just fine.

So for something a little funny to break up the seriousness, the guy I sat next to at the movie (no, not my husband--the other guy) was the biggest baby I have ever seen! Hee Suk swears it must have been his first time at a movie theater.

First of all, I wanted to punch him for continually checking his cell phone. I almost did.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry because of this guy, though. He jumped and verbalized something at every sort of surprising moment. If you've seen the movie, you'll probably recall the first gunshot in the movie, which was very sudden. Scared the poop out of him. He seriously jumped out of his chair each time something like that happened and would say something like, "Oh my gosh! Suddenly!" He also kept talking to the chick he was with. Thank goodness he wasn't holding popcorn or anything.

Our baby and my youngest brother completely own this guy! Baby either a) loved it, or b) slept through it. Our baby is hardcore like that. How do I know? I just do. And Mr. Tony J. saw the midnight premiere. He's super hardcore.

Other than that, I've had a number of crazy experiences the past few days with people who think that foreigners are apparently just not people, including other foreigners! When we were at COEX on Saturday, some Indian guy wanted to take a picture with me. Why? I have no idea. It's not the first time an Indian man has approached me for a picture. The difference this time, though, was that I was NOT dressed in a hanbok, a Korean traditional dress like I was the last time someone wanted a picture with me. I just said, "Um, I don't think my husband would really like that..." and he dashed away. I'm pretty sure this man was not a fan of any of the dramas I have been in...

Today, as I was riding my bike to class, some strange man suddenly started clapping and saying, "That's good! That's good!" over and over. I sensed a tone of mockery, but I could be wrong. I swear to you he went on about Jesus or something after that. I usually get some random high schoolers thinking it's cool/funny to say hello as I am riding by, but this guy was something new. I never looked at him, though, and just kept riding along.

And just so you all know, I do have my own tazer. Have not had to use it. For as weird as some people are with foreigners, they also won't come at them with a ten-foot pole. I mean, a 305cm pole.

I am convinced Koreans are going to cause me to end up with mild preeclampsia, just so you know.

On a completely different note, I updated my facebook status to say that if I didn't know any better with the proof of an ultrasound, I would swear we are having a mouse because Sesame is loving cheese. Cold pizza is pretty heavenly, let me tell you. I just finished the last piece today and feel sort of at a loss for what to do with myself. I also want to eat fish. Yum.

Anyway, I will get to posting more pictures another time. Those are just some of the adventures Sesame and I had this past weekend. He/She is really a fighter. I think when our baby reads this someday, he/she will just be so amazed at all that really goes on in order to bring a little one into this world and will hopefully crack up hysterically at some off our misadventures.

Dear Lord, thank You for protecting us and always holding us in Your warm embrace. I pray that these nightmares might subside, but if they do not, I pray that when I wake up, I am able to quickly call on Your name for comfort and peace. I also pray Hee Suk gets home quickly because I am really hungry. ^^ Thank You, my Wondrous Savior!