After many prayers and tears, God has finally sent us a little one! There is so much to be said that it's hard to figure out where to start.
The short story is that even though I wanted to wait until my birthday on the 11th to test (to be sure I wouldn't be starting a new cycle and that if we were pregnant, there would be more than enough hcg for the test to detect...and because a positive would be the best gift ever!), I figured I would cave in and do it Saturday the 7th instead. Well, all sense went out the window Friday morning, and I tested (at just before 6am to boot!). While I was watching the little windows do their little magical transformations, the box on the left started showing a line. I thought, "Hmm, something seems funny..." and I checked the box. Holy smokes, that's the one we want to show a line! Never before had anything ever remotely appeared there--not even an evap line to add insult to injury. I kept watching it while hyperventilating, going back and forth from test to box to test to box.
So many women do something special to tell their husbands, so I, hardly able to focus (I was supposed to be curling my hair for an acting gig!) went into the room to try to find a nice bag or box to present the positive to him with. I couldn't find anything suitable, so I went back to the bathroom, then back into the room to cuddle up next my still half-asleep Hee Suk and tell him, "You're going to be a daddy!" He, too, was in utter disbelief.
Now, here's the long-winded version of it:
Since my receiving my PCOS diagnosis back in October, it's been hard. We found out so many months after trying to try, though unable to because I wasn't having really any cycles at all. In my initial meltdown, which was mostly related to not knowing whether we should pursue modern medicine, which would produce faster results, or wait for more natural healing methods, a calm suddenly came over me that was unmistakeably from God. I knew right then and there that modern medicine was not the route to take. My later research only solidified this decision.
In December, we opted to try out some very expensive Oriental medicine (or "Traditional Chinese Medicine"--TCM. Koreans don't like giving all the credit to the Chinese, though. ;) ). It was the nastiest tasting stuff ever. I had to have a piece of candy to suck on in my mouth while I was drinking it. You'd probably rather not know some of the ingredients, let me tell you. Anyway, I had a supply that lasted just over two weeks, and after that, we decided to not order more. Instead, we made our own concoction at home (much to the dismay of some of our students!). That tasted much better, at least (but seriously, don't let it get cold).
In all honesty, we got lazy in January and didn't make anymore. At this time, I also decided to try taking different vitamin supplements.
Since my receiving my PCOS diagnosis back in October, it's been hard. We found out so many months after trying to try, though unable to because I wasn't having really any cycles at all. In my initial meltdown, which was mostly related to not knowing whether we should pursue modern medicine, which would produce faster results, or wait for more natural healing methods, a calm suddenly came over me that was unmistakeably from God. I knew right then and there that modern medicine was not the route to take. My later research only solidified this decision.
In December, we opted to try out some very expensive Oriental medicine (or "Traditional Chinese Medicine"--TCM. Koreans don't like giving all the credit to the Chinese, though. ;) ). It was the nastiest tasting stuff ever. I had to have a piece of candy to suck on in my mouth while I was drinking it. You'd probably rather not know some of the ingredients, let me tell you. Anyway, I had a supply that lasted just over two weeks, and after that, we decided to not order more. Instead, we made our own concoction at home (much to the dismay of some of our students!). That tasted much better, at least (but seriously, don't let it get cold).
In all honesty, we got lazy in January and didn't make anymore. At this time, I also decided to try taking different vitamin supplements.
Backing Up: I was very blessed to find a book called The Infertility Cure here while just walking around the international section of a big bookstore here. I seriously turned around, and there it was. I was actually heading towards to Christian book section, so I certainly didn't even imagine there was a small section on pregnancy and whatnot. That book was SO amazing to me. With having temped before, I had a good idea of what my issue was--too much estrogen and an issue in getting my body to produce progesterone. With reading the book, I was able to make even deeper connections with this information and develop my own sort of treatment plan. I don't remember exactly when I found it, but it was certainly hand-delivered by God!
OK, so back to January. I started taking Evening Primrose Oil and Omega-3 right at the beginning, and I had to wait a few days for my B-6 vitamins to come in. I was going to take 200mg a day since I had read it helps the body to metabolize excess estrogen and help in the production of progesterone and that according to a Harvard study, it had helped many women with amenhorrhea start having periods within three months.
Towards the end of January, I started a new, very healthy cycle! I was in great spirits with this. I had prayed to God, "God, I don't care about being pregnant right now. I just DON'T want to go back to the doctor for her to induce a new cycle. " It's not safe to go much more than 90 days (which I was quickly approaching) without any sort of cleansing as the buildup can lead to higher risks for cancer, so this was my single greatest prayer of the month. He is so faithful.
I continued to take my temps into the first week of February February in hopes that things were back to normal, but I definitely wasn't back to the mythical 28-day cycle. I gave up on that. After about losing my mind, I again had that unmistakable peace from God. What I needed most was faith that could move the mountains. If I simply had that faith, He promised me that He would deliver us a child by the end of March.
I really believed this. Part of me feared that maybe I was making this up, that I would be having false hope, but I didn't doubt this. I knew it was the voice of God, a peace that only come from Him. ♪Savior, He can move the mountains...♪
So to simplify, it looks like we most likely conceived right around Valentine's Day, as I started temping again and saw a temperature rise a few days later. I was due for a new cycle right around the 5th of March according to the temps, but it obviously never came.
God's timing is simply amazing! Our sweet little bonbon (we are so excited for our 50-50 (mixed) baby, and 50-50 is pronounced the same way we pronounce "bonbon" in English) was conceived right around Valentine's day, was the best birthday present EVER (an early present, but the greatest gift, nonetheless!) and will be due around 11-11, which is Pepero Day in Korea. (For those who know what Pocky is, Pepero is the same thing. For those who don't, they are thin little chocolate-coated sticks.) We couldn't have asked for anything more.
Hee Suk asked me what I think finally did the trick. I think it was a combination of everything we did to try to help my body heal, but I honestly thing one of the greatest helps was the B-6 vitamin. In the end, though, it was not doubt due to simply having faith, which was often the greatest challenge of all.
While it's been pretty easy for me to feel nothing but joy (and a little worry), the first couple of days were a huge mix of emotions for Appa (Father)-to-be. ^^;; He was so excited, but as the man, he was of course concerned with wanting to be sure we were ready in so many other areas of our lives, especially financially. Once we talked everything over, he felt more peace that has allowed the joy to rush forth. There was a commercial that once made my heart ache on last night where they show a recording of a father's reaction to finding out his wife was pregnant and all the pictures from their pregnancy. We were with his family so he couldn't say anything, but his touch on my arm said everything. He's been amazing so far. You should have seen him while we were grocery shopping! We were on a tight schedule (due to plans he had), but he made sure we spent decent time in the produce section to load up on healthy munchies.
On the note of telling others, we've decided to wait until the end of the first trimester for peace-of-mind. The timing again ends up being perfect--right in time for Mother's Day! I'm so excited that we will be able to announce it at that time. Since there really isn't a Mother's Day here, nevertheless not much of a card-giving culture, I am already planning on how to make the announcement. I'm sure the time will just fly by! I want to send something to make the announcement, but the timing is tricky. I want to make sure my mother knows before other family members, but I want to send something to my grandparents as well. (First grandchild and first great-grandchild in both families!) We are both being so protective of who gets to know first, which is of course our families. OK, well the doctor will know first, but that's it. Until Mother's Day, mum's the word!
For those curious, this blog will remain completely closed off until our families know--rest be assured. I don't want to miss a moment, though!
OK, so back to January. I started taking Evening Primrose Oil and Omega-3 right at the beginning, and I had to wait a few days for my B-6 vitamins to come in. I was going to take 200mg a day since I had read it helps the body to metabolize excess estrogen and help in the production of progesterone and that according to a Harvard study, it had helped many women with amenhorrhea start having periods within three months.
Towards the end of January, I started a new, very healthy cycle! I was in great spirits with this. I had prayed to God, "God, I don't care about being pregnant right now. I just DON'T want to go back to the doctor for her to induce a new cycle. " It's not safe to go much more than 90 days (which I was quickly approaching) without any sort of cleansing as the buildup can lead to higher risks for cancer, so this was my single greatest prayer of the month. He is so faithful.
I continued to take my temps into the first week of February February in hopes that things were back to normal, but I definitely wasn't back to the mythical 28-day cycle. I gave up on that. After about losing my mind, I again had that unmistakable peace from God. What I needed most was faith that could move the mountains. If I simply had that faith, He promised me that He would deliver us a child by the end of March.
I really believed this. Part of me feared that maybe I was making this up, that I would be having false hope, but I didn't doubt this. I knew it was the voice of God, a peace that only come from Him. ♪Savior, He can move the mountains...♪
So to simplify, it looks like we most likely conceived right around Valentine's Day, as I started temping again and saw a temperature rise a few days later. I was due for a new cycle right around the 5th of March according to the temps, but it obviously never came.
God's timing is simply amazing! Our sweet little bonbon (we are so excited for our 50-50 (mixed) baby, and 50-50 is pronounced the same way we pronounce "bonbon" in English) was conceived right around Valentine's day, was the best birthday present EVER (an early present, but the greatest gift, nonetheless!) and will be due around 11-11, which is Pepero Day in Korea. (For those who know what Pocky is, Pepero is the same thing. For those who don't, they are thin little chocolate-coated sticks.) We couldn't have asked for anything more.
Hee Suk asked me what I think finally did the trick. I think it was a combination of everything we did to try to help my body heal, but I honestly thing one of the greatest helps was the B-6 vitamin. In the end, though, it was not doubt due to simply having faith, which was often the greatest challenge of all.
While it's been pretty easy for me to feel nothing but joy (and a little worry), the first couple of days were a huge mix of emotions for Appa (Father)-to-be. ^^;; He was so excited, but as the man, he was of course concerned with wanting to be sure we were ready in so many other areas of our lives, especially financially. Once we talked everything over, he felt more peace that has allowed the joy to rush forth. There was a commercial that once made my heart ache on last night where they show a recording of a father's reaction to finding out his wife was pregnant and all the pictures from their pregnancy. We were with his family so he couldn't say anything, but his touch on my arm said everything. He's been amazing so far. You should have seen him while we were grocery shopping! We were on a tight schedule (due to plans he had), but he made sure we spent decent time in the produce section to load up on healthy munchies.
On the note of telling others, we've decided to wait until the end of the first trimester for peace-of-mind. The timing again ends up being perfect--right in time for Mother's Day! I'm so excited that we will be able to announce it at that time. Since there really isn't a Mother's Day here, nevertheless not much of a card-giving culture, I am already planning on how to make the announcement. I'm sure the time will just fly by! I want to send something to make the announcement, but the timing is tricky. I want to make sure my mother knows before other family members, but I want to send something to my grandparents as well. (First grandchild and first great-grandchild in both families!) We are both being so protective of who gets to know first, which is of course our families. OK, well the doctor will know first, but that's it. Until Mother's Day, mum's the word!
For those curious, this blog will remain completely closed off until our families know--rest be assured. I don't want to miss a moment, though!
Oh, I almost forgot! One of the funnest things--signs of pregnancy!
The absolute most notable sign I had was HUNGER. I have been SO hungry. When we go to bed at night, even though we eat late, I complain of how incredibly hungry I am.
The absolute most notable sign I had was HUNGER. I have been SO hungry. When we go to bed at night, even though we eat late, I complain of how incredibly hungry I am.
Some stiffness yet looseness. I feel stiff in certain areas, but at the same time, things are cracking left and right (yes, Dad, even more than before. I'm sure you can't even imagine!).
And other signs others may not quite want to read about. ^.~
I've also had a scratchy throat for about a week, which turned into a bad cough/cold on Friday, the day we found out. Believe me, though--it hasn't been keeping me down!
I don't know for certain if this is from the pregnancy or not, but I've also been very tired. I thought it was due to my cold, but it might just be this little one growing inside of me. I'm feeling quite a bit better today, so within the next couple of days, I'll know for sure.
I have not had many of the trademark signs--tenderness, bigger chest, metallic taste, etc. We'll see how it goes after a couple of weeks! I hear that 6 weeks is the magic marker for many things, including morning sickness.
More pictures:
^Me at about 6am with our positive test!
(I'm still getting used to smiling with braces. -.-;)
Is this really the same person? This is after we came back home from my acting gig.
The new proud parents-to-be. ^^;;
I've decided to steal an idea from a friend who is taking pictures of every day of her life, and I will do my best to take one picture every day of our pregnancy, and I am sure I will have more than enough motivation to continue after baby is born!
Day 2--4w3d
4w4d
Tickers:
Now I really can't wait to share our blessing with others!
Thank You so, so much Lord. There aren't any words that are adequate to express our thanks. You are so holy and mighty. Please continue to hold us in Your incredible hands, helping this baby to simply thrive. Thank You, my Lord. Thank You.
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